School started last week, and with it came lots of music, drill, stress, anxiety, new students and classes, rushed dinners, alarm clocks that go off WAY too early, rain which creates swampy fields to march in, etc.
It was a very full and exhaustive week, but we made it....or should I say Colt made it, while I did my best to keep up and maintain his sanity for him.
A typical day for us now that school has started will go something like this:
5:15am - First alarm will go off...this is the one to see if we want to go to the gym...it usually gets reset.
6:00am - This is the "real" one...snooze button will get hit.
6:05am - Snooze #1 goes off.
6:10am - Snooze #2 goes off.
6:15am - Snooze #3 goes off (We might get up here...might.)
6:20am - Snooze #4 goes off (This time we might actually get up...really.)
6:25am - Snooze #5 goes off (We REALLY need to get up now.)
6:30am - Snooze #6 goes off (Okay, now we SERIOUSLY NEED TO GET UP!)
6:30ish - Colt gets ready for work, while I fix his breakfast and get his lunch ready.
6:45-7 - Morning prayer and then Colt is out the door.
Throughout the day he has classes, meetings, lessons, etc. Did I mention that he does all of this with teenagers? Yeah.
I do my best to maintain an organized household, grocery shop, cook...basically, I'm a housewife, and I kind of love it.
3:10pm - School gets done and I am already on my way to the high school.
3:20ish - I find out what kind of a day he's had...usually it's been fairly good, but now we're getting into a stress zone....Marching Band rehearsal...duh, duh, DUH!!!!
3:45pm - Rehearsal starts.
*This time frame is kind of like a black hole. Work gets done, but occasionally you wonder where it all went....working with 60+ teenagers can be a ton of fun and very rewarding in multiple ways, but it can also drain you and make you a zombie.
6:00pm - Rehearsal is done, kids go home.
7:00pm - Almost done finishing up last-minute work at the high school.
8:00pm - I think we're almost done.
8:30pm - Are we done yet????
*After rehearsal, I usually help Colt with any work that he has to do (the work that I can actually help out with at least), or I clean and organize the band room...I'm so sorry Mom. I now understand what cleaning my room was like when I was a teenager...
9:00pm - Finally home and ready to just pass out in bed, unless there's some more work to do, but Colt's pretty good at just leaving it at work now that school has started.
10:00pm- Passed out and gearing up for another day!
Now, I married Colt knowing full well that he was a high school band director. I thought that was such an awesome job, I STILL think that it's an awesome job. I knew ahead of time that his job was very time consuming, seriously, I did! The knowledge of that and the reality are two very different things though.
It has been a major adjustment for the both of us to maintain a balance in our relationship and his job. I think we have definitely learned a lot in regards to priorities and time management, but we have been truly blessed because of it. We had a lesson on marriage in Sunday School yesterday, and I believe everyone in that class needed it, I know we did at least. There was a particularly poignant quote from Sister Marjorie P. Hinckley that was read during the lesson which really hit home for us...especially me.
"I was just sure the first ten years would be bliss. But during our first year together I discovered...there were a lot of adjustments. Of course, they weren't the kind of thing you ran home to mother about. But I cried into my pillow now and again. The problems were almost always related to learning to live on someone else's schedule to do things someone else's way. We loved each other, there was no doubt about that. But we also had to get used to each other. I think every couple has to get used to each other."
-Sister Marjorie P. Hinckley-
When we heard that, we just looked at each other and gave a knowing smile. It has not been as easy and breezy a road as I assumed it would be to be a band director's wife. And I know it hasn't been easy for Colt to have a band and a wife...especially me as that wife. I'm spoiled and selfish, and when I don't get my way, I get upset...and the whole world knows about it! (You'd think, as an actress, I would be better at masking my emotions, but I'm not...) There have had to be numerous adjustments on both of our parts, but we're starting to get into a good routine.
We've learned that when schedules get tricky, you have to be creative with how you spend your time together. For instance, I help out with marching band. If I didn't, I would only see my husband after 9pm (most days), bright and early in the morning before he heads off to work, occasional Saturdays, and Sundays. I may have to share him with 60+ people during these times with marching band, but at least I get to see him. It might not be the ideal situation, but it's our situation, and we're doing our best to make the most of it.
Everyone is given a different path in life, with different obstacles. Some days are harder than others, but I think our perspective is what really helps us get through. True, some days I really don't like the effect that marching band has on my husband and our relationship, but when I take a step back and see what he's doing...my perspective gets an attitudinal adjustment.
Colt works with about 60 teenagers who all need him. He is their director, he is there to guide and help them. There's something magical that happens when students realize that they've played something better than they did the last 10 times, or they perform for a stadium of people who are there to root and cheer for them. During marching season, your band becomes your family...mainly because you see them a whole lot more than you do your real family, but they become your family nonetheless. It is wonderful to see the friendships and bonds that are created. Experiences turn into fond memories, and one day, years later, you wish you could go back and do it all over again.
When I take a step back and see the amazing effect that band is having on these students, and I see the central role that Colt has in it, I can't be selfish about the fact that he doesn't have a 9-5, Monday-Friday job. He can't always just come home, have dinner, and enjoy a relaxing evening doing whatever he wants. He can't always have weekends where he gets to complete my honey-do list, or go on a spontaneous road trip. Instead he gets to have evening rehearsals, football games on Friday nights where you don't get home until midnight because there was lightning in the area that caused a delay in the game, Saturday competitions, free time spent working on drill and how to fill those holes in it, rewriting music so your students can play the song and it still sounds the same, trying to maintain a small amount of sanity because most of your students aren't paying attention to what you're saying because they're talking to each other instead (remember...they're teenagers), etc. Through everything, though, it's all worthwhile.
Mignon McLaughlin, an American journalist and author, once wrote:
"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."
When I see Colt directing his band, and I see the effect that all of his hard work is having on these students, I can't help but fall in love with him all over again. I see the joy that he gets from it, but I also see every other emotion that he goes through to get to that joy, and I think that's one of the things that I love most about him. He works so hard and goes through so much, I feel most people in his position would just quit and get a different job. But he sticks with it, he stays for those kids. He's a genuine, good person, and I'm grateful that he's mine.
